Fallen
by John M. Nox
Summary: You broke your promise" Gokudera said to a grave in front of him. Inspired by a song an very close friend my first try at Angst so please bear with me.


**i****A/N: I normally hate and despise Angst. I prefer fluffy fics thus it comes as a surprise to me to be able to write something like this. I completely blame my friend Jen by showing me this song, I spent the better part of the day listening to it and reading some Angst KHR fics so ideas simply came rushing inside my head. **

**Like I said before I don't consider myself any good in the Angst department but oh well….at least I want to give it a try. This is also my first one-shot. YAY!**

**I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn but it certainly owns me neither do I own the lyrics to the song.**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

"You promised." Gokudera mumbled to himself, not caring for the rain that was stabbing him nor the coldness he was feeling. Right now he didn't care about his body or what happened to it, he didn't care if his lungs or his brain stopped working because his heart had already died. What he was now could only be described with one word: "empty". His eyes held no life, no will. He was an empty shell of someone who used to be called Gokudera Hayato.

_Heaven bent to take my hand  
And lead me through the fire  
Be the long awaited answer  
To a long and painful fight_

"Hey Gokudera." Yamamoto called as he entered the dynamite specialist's room. He saw the man smoking on the balcony and he immediately went to keep him company.

"Who gave you permission to enter my room?" Gokudera asked, staring as the swirls of white smoke, not even bothering to look at the intruder. Yamamoto had been a pain in his ass for too long. The only reason he had tolerated him up to this point was because the Tenth had chosen the baseball idiot as one of his Guardians.

"Don't be like that." Yamamoto said, smiling over to the angry man, "You hurt my feelings" He said putting on an amusing smile and draping his arm around Gokudera's shoulder, who angrily moved away.

"Great! Now I can't even go relax in my own room." Gokudera said bitterly. He turned to leave when a hand reached out and grabbed his wrist, making him stay. When he turned to yell at Yamamoto, he didn't see that fake smile he had come to despise so much nor those eyes that always said: "everything is going to be okay". What he saw was Yamamoto looking seriously at him, no fake smile and no quirky looks, just Yamamoto.

"Stop hiding." Yamamoto murmured, still holding on to Gokudera's wrist. His hold was light and the Right Hand Man could have escaped easily if he truly wanted to.

"I know what day it is today." at this point Yamamoto had hit the nerve that Gokudera needed to be hit

Gokudera's eyes widened immediately at what he had just heard.

"Who told you?" Gokudera turned away, not wanting Yamamoto to see him vulnerable. The question was a complete waste of time, since he knew exactly who had told him, so but he couldn't just say nothing. Saying nothing would mean staying in silence and right now Gokudera hated silence.

"Bianchi." The raven muttered. Yamamoto pulled Gokudera's wrist, bringing them closer. The silver haired man was close enough that they could hug, and even though Gokudera's back was still facing Yamamoto, the raven haired man didn't care nor was he going to stop now. He wouldn't let the man's usual tough guy act keep him from showing Gokudera that it was okay to feel vulnerable once in a while.

"Just leave, please, I can't han-" He was stopped short when he felt Yamamoto embrace him from behind. It felt…...warm. The feeling of the raven haired man holding him inexplicably made him feel better. Even if it was for a mere second, he wanted to remember that feeling, he wanted to not feel lonely, to be able to have someone who understood him and cared for him. Without knowing, tears started to run down his cheeks.

'_No! I can't let him see me cry. I can't b__e__…….weak.__'_

"I'm not leaving." Yamamoto tightened the embrace to the point where he could feel Gokudera's every movement. He was surprised when he felt tears falling on his hands. It gave Yamamoto even more determination. He moved his lips closer to Gokudera's ear and whispered, "It's just me, no one else is going to see you. It's okay to cry, I won't tell anyone."

Gokudera suddenly turned around and buried his head in Yamamoto's shoulder, letting the tears flow free and sobbing uncontrollably. Yamamoto simply let out a caring smile and continued the embrace, holding their bodies closer to each other. He liked the feeling of having Gokudera so close. He had held Tsuna like this before but he hadn't felt what he was feeling right now. The feeling of wanting to be with that person forever, protecting him, caring for him, laughing with him and most of all kissing him.

Minutes passed and Gokudera finally ran out of tears to cry. Once he had made sure his sobbing had stopped he lifted his head to look at the baseball player. He gazed into his eyes and suddenly all the hate he held for him disappeared. He didn't see the Yamamoto that took everything so lightly, he saw a Yamamoto that was determined and serious……a Yamamoto that he loved.

The kiss they shared was brief and simple but it told them so much. The mere contact of lips sent the two of them to a place where there was nothing…..except each other.

Their lips parted. They didn't move they simply stayed there gazing into each other's eyes, seeing each other for what they truly were. No acts, no fake smiles or attitudes. Just the two of them holding each other, not wanting to let go.

"I love you." Gokudera said. He had tried to deny it and get rid of such feelings but it had been a lost battle. It felt awful to hate and love a person at the same time. It wasn't until this day that he understood why he hated Yamamoto so much: because he too, was hiding himself. Just like how Gokudera hid from the pain by acting tough, the raven hid behind a fake smile. The Yamamoto he had come to love was the one he rarely saw, the one who showed himself exactly like he was.

"It took you a lot of time to admit it." Yamamoto ignored the half-hearted punch that was sent his way by the person in his eyes and countered it with a kiss. He chuckled at how Gokudera hesitantly gave in to the kiss. He ended the kiss, grabbed his face and said "I love you too." They kissed for the third time, this time deepening it, telling each other without words that they will always be there for each other.

'Happy birthday……………….Mom.'

_Truth be told I've tried my best  
But somewhere along the way  
I got caught up in all there was to offer  
And the cost was so much more than I could bear_

"You promised!" Gokudera yelled. He tried to shout his pain out, to relieve his agony, even if it's just a little bit, but it was futile, he simply didn't care what happened now. He was alone and he didn't want to go back to being the man who had to pretend to be able to hide. He wanted to be himself and laugh whenever he wanted …………. He wanted Takeshi back.

_Though I've tried, I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I have messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so..._

The only person who had actually managed to destroy all the walls he had put around his heart was not in this world anymore. Gokudera hung his head. His eyes were lifeless, and his heart was numb with agony and loss. There is no greater pain in the world than that of you not being able to be with your loved one anymore, to not be able to kiss him, to hug him, to caress him or to tell him……

"I love you…" Gokudera told the grave in front of him, "I always have and I always will."

_We all begin with good intent  
Love was raw and young  
We believed that we could change ourselves  
The past could be undone  
But we carry on our backs the burden  
Time always reveals  
The lonely light of morning  
The wound that would not heal  
It's the bitter taste of losing everything  
That I have held so dear._

"I love you Hayato." Yamamoto said hugging his lover from behind. They were in a mission in France. It was almost midnight, and they were alone. It had taken a lot f time and effort but finally he had convinced Gokudera to accompany him sightseeing, they had gone to the Arc of Triumph and the Louvre. Last stop was the Eiffel Tower.

"Yeah, yeah, just take your pictures and let's go. I'm freezing." Gokudera had never been a fan of sightseeing, maybe because he considered it a complete waste of time to just stand there looking at stuff. Nevertheless he had accompanied his lover for two reasons. One, it was Takeshi so he wanted to see the bastard happy even if it took doing something as dumb as sightseeing and two because it was Christmas Eve and since they couldn't celebrate with the rest of the Family being with each other sounded the best thing to do.

"I'm not here to take pictures." Yamamoto silently said before starting something that was about to change his whole life.

"What do you mea-?" Gokudera found himself mute when he turned around and saw Yamamoto Takeshi kneeling down behind him with a black box in his hand and the other one grabbing Gokudera's hand. "What are you doing?!" Gokudera panicked not knowing what to say. Of course he knew what he was doing but he didn't understand why.

"And here I was thinking you were the smart one." Yamamoto said chuckling, this time he pulled Gokudera even closer and opened the box "Gokudera Hayato, will you marry me?" The look on Yamamoto's eyes hypnotized the silver haired man. It was a look full of hope and love, a look that Gokudera wanted to remember for the rest of his life.

For a moment, he was frozen. He tried to find that one word. He stuttered.

"Y-yes" Gokudera answered once he found his voice. Yamamoto immediately stood up and kissed his lover. He put his arms tightly around Gokudera's waist and leaned in so far into the kiss that the silver haird man had to grab on to Yamamoto's jacket to keep his balance. He was ecstatic. He was about to spend the rest of his life with the one he loved. He took out the ring and slowly, gently placed it on Gokudera's finger.

"Why this color?" Gokudera asked raising an eyebrow at the strange color of his newest favorite thing.

"Because it suits you." Yamamoto said smiling. It had taken hours for him to decide which color to pick. Initially, he had been vacillating between silver and gold, but there was something about those two that simply didn't say "Gokudera". It wasn't until he described the person to the sales lady that she smiled and took out one that Yamamoto knew would fit his lover perfectly.

"This is the best Christmas gift anybody has ever given me." Gokudera said smiling at the ring he was wearing. He was surprised when he found himself in an embrace with Yamamoto, who simply whispered into his ear.

"That's not true. I've got you as a present. That's far more valuable than anything money can buy." Yamamoto tightened the embrace not wanting to let go. Gokudera simply smiled and hugged him, kissing him lightly.

"Corny idiot." He said in between kisses.

"Your corny idiot." Yamamoto replied returning the kisses with all his passion.

And so, right beneath the Eiffel Tower in the most romantic city of all, two souls started a journey full of tears and laughter. A road they thought would last several years……little did they know how wrong they were.

_I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I have messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so..._

Gokudera's attention shifted from the grave before him to the ring in his finger. The black onyx reflected the light of the moon above him. Slowly, as if it took him all his energy and willpower, Gokudera slipped it out of his finger and read the inscription that Yamamoto had made.

_Ever Thine. Ever Mine. Ever Ours._

"You broke your promise." He said letting the ring fall to the ground. Tears fell from his eyes, mixing with the pouring rain. The pain was too much, it weighed him down, and in seconds, Gokudera found himself laying on the ground. His body was about to give up, he knew it and he didn't care…….he wanted to see Yamamoto again………at any cost.

_Heaven bent to take my hand  
Nowhere left to turn  
I'm lost to those I thought were friends  
To everyone I know  
Oh they turned their heads embarrassed  
Pretend that they don't see  
But it's one missed step  
You'll slip before you know it  
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed._

"But why do you have to go?!" Gokudera whined. Married life had changed him even if he didn't want to admit it. Without knowing It he found himself numerous times whining when Yamamoto wasn't there or smiling when he was next to him.

"Because Tsuna says he needs me." Yamamoto answered looking for his wallet. He didn't like being apart of Hayato but he worked in the Mafia and that meant most of the time, work comes before pleasure, "He said it was a very important mission."

"But tomorrow is-" Gokudera found himself shut up by a kiss.

"I know what day it is tomorrow and I'll be back before you know it." Yamamoto replied breaking the kiss "Now, can I have my wallet back?" He said, extending his hand.

"Fine, fine." Gokudera gave up and handed him his wallet, "Just be back before tomorrow midnight." He said hugging the raven haired man. He couldn't get enough of him and his presence. Somehow that very presence he hated before had come to be a presence he loved, a presence that brought peace to his heart.

"I promise." He said with a wink and a goodbye kiss. Neither knew that the goodbye kiss would be their last kiss…..ever.

_Though I've tried, I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I have messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so..._

"Hey Tenth." Gokudera greeted entering his Boss's office. He immediately spotted Tsuna in the corner of his room, sobbing. Gokudera hurried to his side. He noticed that his eyes were red and clenched to his left hand was an empty bottle of vodka. Tsuna was sobbing and tears falling down his cheeks like a fountain.

"What happened?" Gokudera asked in confusion, he had never seen his Boss like that. It took several minutes before Tsuna could formulate normal words.

"Som-something…………….went………….wr-wrong…" He said in between sobs. Gokudera understood that if a mission had gone wrong to the point where his Boss would break down in tears, it must have been a very important mission. His mind kicked in immediately.

_Important mission? Where have I heard that befor-?_

Gokudera's heart skipped a beat when his mind came up instantly with the answer.

"Gokudera." Tsuna said snapping the silver haired man out of his trance. It had been a very long pause, minutes passed but Gokudera didn't answer he was too busy telling himself that his fear wasn't true. It couldn't be true. It's just not possible.

"Yamamoto is……………….dead" Tsuna said summoning more tears to his eyes.

"No! No! T-that can't be happening! No!" Gokudera's eyes started to fill with tears, his pressed his hands against his ears. He didn't want to hear it again, it was impossible, Takeshi couldn't be dead!

_Though I've tried, I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I have messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so..._

"Time of death: 1:15 AM." The doctor on call told the nurse. His voice was low and serious. It had been a fierce battle to keep the guy alive but he lost. The doctor wasn't surprised, it had happened numerous times before. Losing a patient is something every doctor has to go through, he had come to peace with the fact that he couldn't save everyone but somehow the young man that had just passed away seemed different. Like he didn't want to be saved, like he didn't want to live.

"Poor soul…" One of the nurses told the other as she pulled the blanket over his silver hair. "Someone found him lying in front of grave in the middle of a cemetery."

That nurse was a single mother with a kid the age of the one in front of her. When she saw him, she couldn't help but feel worried about her own son. She didn't know how but she knew that boy had been in a lot of pain.

Somehow the fact that he was dead brought serenity to her mind, knowing he was going to be reunited with the one he loved. "I have a call to make, be right back." She said as she left the room. She just wanted to say "I love you" to her son. You never know when it might be the last time you get to say it.

"At least your going to a better place." The other nurse said exiting the room.

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Gokudera was walking through a dark hall. He didn't know how long it had been going on. Everything seemed to repeat itself. He felt lonely and scared, just like he felt before he found Yamamoto's love. He wanted it to end. He wanted the suffering to end. He wanted the absence of Yamamoto to end!

He kept walking, looking down at the floor. He had no more tears to shed, he was exhausted. Suddenly, there was light, filtering in. He looked up and saw a open door at the end of the hallway. A sudden surge of energy seemed to come out of nowhere. He hurried his steps and entered the room up ahead.

What he saw made him smile, then he cried, his tears flowing freely, happily. Yamamoto was standing in front of him, smiling, his arms open like he expected a hug. Just like he always did.

"What are you doing here?"

"Fulfilling my promise." The raven haired man said, hugging Gokudera "Happy anniversary, Hayato."

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**Does it count as Angst If they end up together in the end? Sorry but my fluffy happy impulse beat me at the end. Still I'm kind of happy with this hope you are too. The song is called "Fallen" by Sarah Mclachlan. **

**I personally recommend reading it while listening to the song. Anywho, my first angst fanfic. What do you think? Should I do more? Should I stop my wretched writing? Review please**


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